The Duke of Edinburgh and notoriously pompous fuckwit Prince Phillip, has reportedly been rushed to hospital just days before Christmas.

Royal spokesperson Sterling Witherington IV unconvincingly confirmed that the 98 year old Duke had been rushed to hospital and that the royal family wished him well.

"Christmas will be considerably less racist this year. At least there's that." He said.

The Duke was last heard saying "I want a good British doctor. If I get a damn paki, I'll be more furious than usual."

"It's been all downhill since Winston passed."

The team at HT sincerely wish the Duke a quick and painless death.

Alan J. Boltlaw
Royal fancier