As we hold each other during this biblical, Mel Gibson level shit storm, balancing on the razors edge, pondering if we can carry on; the HTMG have just received harrowing news of a new Corona virus symptom.
The Ronald Reagan UCLA Medical Center published a recent journal claiming a confounding new promiscuous symptom has arisen with the COVID-19 virus. It seems viral biologists and senior WHO analysts can only agree on the one thing, that they're baffled as to how this cruelly timed and awkward affliction is connected with the virus, or why it targets the cock.
Integrity was quick to track down learned man; Sam Goodman - Prof of Biological studies UCLA to expose this taboo trait.
Integrity C. Cronkite: Sam, thanks for your time. Now what's with all these murmured conversations I'm hearing about a "not to be discussed" COVID-19 symptom? I'm hoping you can address this aroused elephant in the room.
Sam Goodman - Prof of Biological studies UCLA: Thanks Integrity happy to help. I won't beat around, you get a massive boner whilst in the clutches of Corona virus. It seems this is not a new development of such, but rather blokes have shown a little trepidation in coming forth with the symptom, never the less prepare for a two week chubby.
Integrity C. Cronkite: A what?!
Prof. Sam Goodman: You heard me. Two weeks at least, and it's no small Sunday morning pillow diver either, this is a full ram-rod charger holding court with it's outrages punishment.
Integrity C. Cronkite: An out of control viral gooser you say? Can we beat it off to subdue the monster?
Prof. Sam Goodman: Unfortunately this pillar of embarrassment will not respond to milking, and in-fact pursuit of juicing the organ is heavily discouraged as it may result in the monolith of madness becoming further enraged. My advice, relax and learn to live with it for the next few weeks.
Integrity C. Cronkite: Should men be openly discussing this?
Prof. Sam Goodman: Of course, talk to your wife about it too, I'm sure most women would be put off, if not disgusted, intimidated or terrified by the prospect of self isolating with a man with an irrepressible erection, so talk it out.
Integrity C. Cronkite: Professor Goodman thanks for your time.
Prof. Sam Goodman: Thanks for the opportunity.
Integrity C. Cronkite - Well in light of these challenging times made even harder now with this rambunctious revelation, I hope we can still all respect each other when we pass a fellow sufferer nursing an aching throbber, and it reminds us how so very much of a royal cunt this virus is.
Integrity C. Cronkite.